Tag Archives: thoughts

Random Thought of the Day

People always want to say it is in our nature to fear what is different. That’s not true. It is in our nature to fear what is dangerous – that is basic survival instinct, but we cannot insist that ‘different’ and ‘dangerous’ are defined the same. We also have an instinctual curiosity that pushes us to explore the world around us and we are not, by definition, curious of what we know, we are instead curious of what is different. Which is to say instinctively we seek out what is different, the exact opposite of what we do when we are afraid of something. It is not in our nature to fear what is different, quite the opposite. It is in our nature to explore what is different. Fearing what is different is a learned behavior and, fortunately, it is never too late to reject mistaken lessons.

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And then there was this

People are always dancing. They dance because they’re happy, they dance because they’re celebrating. They dance because they’re in love and once in a while, to tell love goodbye. Sometimes you have to dance because the only way to keep up with the world is to be spinning just as fast as it is. As long as you keep moving, everything is okay – everything is fucking perfect. You’re spinning, hell you’re twirling, you’re on top, you are the game master…just as long as you don’t stop. Because when you slow, when you stop, the world keeps moving and it rushes toward you, rushes past you and…well, here’s to those who know how to keep moving. Here’s to those who are always dancing because you just can’t stop.

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So here’s what it is…tact. There are times when it is necessary, I guess. Certainly times when it is welcome. Usually, I find it to be a waste of time; more often a hindrance to the end goal, prolonging break ups and leaving parties delicately waltzing around an issue. I prefer to look it in the face, get it out and over with and then move on. Perhaps more of a krunk than a waltz. These things in life are like paper cuts. It can hurt like hell, but if you ignore the pain and bandage the bleed it doesn’t actually diminish your ability to get things done. It doesn’t affect your worth. #thisiswhyimsingle #hereswhatitis

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Decisions – fuck ’em

You know the decision memes…the ones that lead to a yes or no answer and then a simple solution? It occurs to me that is really all it has to be. Map it out, then solve it and stick with it. Put it to rest. Everything has a solution and sometimes the solution is that there is nothing you can do about it. Roll with it. Make the best. Not everything is in your control and the sooner you realize it the happier you will be. For those things you can do nothing to change…you’re not supposed to. Perhaps it’s simply not for you. Ride it out, enjoy it while it lasts, then let it go. Que cera. There’s something else for you. There’s always something else. Another path, another person, another lifestyle. Don’t force what doesn’t work, what you don’t really feel. Something else will reveal itself. And you will be more glorious than ever.

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Things I’ve Learned.

I am 32 years old. I have been married and divorced, through military training, and earned a four-year degree. I have two children, two jobs, and am sole manager of my household. So it is from a position of experience, when I say with confidence, that I am no expert at all. There is only one real idea that can hold up and that is that things change, things and people. because as our environments change, we change. We adapt to new surroundings. We adopt new views.
The order of our priorities shift. What beliefs we hold steadfast to in our twenties are not all going to be the same in our thirties. We will learn, each according to his or her own experiences, and we will change. Not all of the changes will be better, not all of the changes will be bad ones.

Because of this it is true that the odds of answering the question “what do you know” the same way twice are slim. So I prefer to phrase it as “what I know now.” So here are just a few things I’ve come to know. Maybe in six months I’ll answer the question here again just to see how I’ve changed.

1) Time moves at a consistent steady pace. It never speeds up, it never slows down. It is only our perception, colored by how eager, nervous, or terrified we are that makes it appear to do either.

2) Time seems to go by faster as we get older because our lives become future-oriented. When we are young we are concerned with the now, content to remain in the space and time of our immediate surroundings. But future deadlines, meetings, and the responsibility of pre-planned activities keeps us looking always ahead on the calendar, and we barely notice, let alone fully experience, the now.

3) I am special, I am unique; but I do not deserve praise just for getting out of bed and showing up. Recognition should be reserved for the people who take their snowflake qualities and make snowballs, or snowmen, or ice castles.

4) Be who you are. I mean really, just be who you are. Pretending to be someone else will not make you happy. It will not make those around you happy. Such falseness will become an impenetrable barrier between you and your happy.

5) You must make your own choices. No one will ever know yourself better than you do.

6) You will make mistakes. You will make lots of mistakes. You will torture yourself over them, berate yourself over them, cry, deny them, hide them, run away from them. You might even punch some of them. But you will live through them.

7) Go ahead and cry. Sob like a baby and rail at the heavens. Sink to your knees. Barricade yourself in your house and sing along to every song that even remotely describes how you feel. Then wipe your eyes, take a shower, drink some coffee and go on with your life.

8) You can eat the cupcake. Your welcome.

9) Really. Go ahead and eat the damn cupcake.

10) Say it. Whatever it is, to whoever you need to say it to. Because embarrassment is temporary, you really might not get another chance, and regrets suck.

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Smile. You are further ahead today than you were yesterday. Even if you did not a single thing to move forward, it’s true. Because we can never truly sit still, time always moves us on. So even if all you did was float along on the seconds and minutes of the day, you are further ahead than you were yesterday. Don’t worry if you didn’t accomplish anything noteworthy, if you didn’t make any great strides toward your ultimate goals. Because soon, the silent pools will turn into rapids. And then you’ll pull up your rested strength. You will be prepared to not just ride the rapids, but to navigate them. When you come to a fork you, not the current, will decide which way you go. And if you should reach a waterfall, it will be your stroke that launches you through the air and the spray to a new situation. So it’s okay to float today. Because tomorrow, well, tomorrow you’re going to make this river your bitch. 😉

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Life is good

Sometimes…it’s just a matter of taking a step back, observing where you are at that moment, and accepting. Accepting that, in that moment, life is good. Enjoy the place you are at, the people you are with, the moment you are in. Ignore the big picture, the pressure, the impending whatever and accept where you are. You might find that though there is a whole world on your shoulders, waiting for you to bow, waiting for you to address it, this moment – THIS moment – is good. Let it be good. Feel it, absorb it. Because you need them, the good moments. For this instance , let it be good. It is what it is; and RIGHT now – is right now. Let the good be good. The rest will be there for you to deal with later . That’s guaranteed.

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Provoking Thoughts…

On my father’s side of the family there is a long history of military service. I served, my uncles served, my father served, my great-uncles served, my great-grandfather served, and it continues back. My Uncle Randy, a career soldier, gave the ultimate sacrifice in service to his country and defense of the American people while serving in Iraq. In my house, military service is something to be respected and honored.

It’s no surprise that I find myself thinking about our country’s military and military actions, both past and present, on this day. Today marks the anniversary of a moment in time I, and countless other Americans, will never forget. An event wrapped in horror, shock, fear, uncertainty, heroism, unity, grief, pride, revenge, and waffles. I was having breakfast in the university cafeteria when I overheard the kitchen staff’s radio. I remember how eerily quiet the campus was that morning, how empty the sky. And how nervous it was by afternoon, with students crying, calling home, and casting nervous glances back and forth. And how loud it was by nighttime, as select students found their inner sense of duty and declared intention to leave school and fight for America. And many did. The war on terrorism had been declared. America would have her revenge.

But it took ten long years to bring the man responsible for the events of 9/11 to justice. In those 10 years the face of the war on terror changed. Was it about defending America’s security? About restructuring governments and lifestyles of our enemies to bring about a common ground? About gaining fiscal sovereignty over our declared enemies? In the midst of considering current and proposed military actions, a question came to my mind.
Have our military been turned into a pack of mercenaries? Used by the government not in protection of American freedoms or the furtherance of democracy throughout the world, but an armed group trained to search, seize and destroy in promotion of an agenda that surrounds the attainment of more and yet more power?

Let me explain this. I do not believe this is how our men and women in uniform see themselves. I have worn the uniform myself and it is no simple thing to keep it on. I will repeat that in my house my children learn to respect and honor military service. What I mean, is I fear our government has become nothing more than a complex commercial organization that uses the military to enforce grabs for power in the form of political, financial, and physical dominance. I have to admit, the thought makes me sick a little.

But what other explanation is there? Tell me your thoughts.

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It’s going to be –

I remember the first time I smoked a cigar. I stole it from my father’s collection of “It’s a girl” and “It’s a boy” cigars he had collected over the years. It was a big, fat cheap thing and it wasn’t good. Still, puffing away on it was satisfactory. Read into what you will dear Freudian’s but the thing is… it made me feel larger. A solid, definable part of this world. There I was – a small twelve-year-old girl puffing away on a big, fat cigar.

I don’t know why I think of it now, except that I am at this moment also puffing away on a cigar. A trimmer, blueberry flavored thing, also not very good. And I’m pondering my life as it is now. A divorced mother of two, counting achievements and failures, mentally categorizing what I have and what I don’t, listening to the persistent chirp of some unidentified night animal. See I’ve come to understand I am exactly where I have put myself. And also to understand exactly where I want to be. And too, that only I can traverse the space, the layers – the what? – to get there. See, it’s less about changing the ‘where’ I am and more of changing the ‘how’ I am. Not the ‘what’, but bringing ‘how’ I am into every aspect of my daily dealings.

But let’s go back to that twelve-year-old girl and her cigar. Because what it is that makes me think of that moment now, is the wonderful mix of confusion and dreams and hope that we so often say belongs to the young. It doesn’t. It surrounds us and falls upon us whenever we close one chapter of our lives and prepare to embark on a new one.

And I’ve done it. I’m awake and I know, that chapter is closed. I’ve brought myself to this place because it is where I am supposed to be. And even though the cigar is quite bad, this is good – sitting here in the night, puffing away, and writing – I am me. And in the words of Ellie Goulding’s popular song – I know it’s going to be –

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The thing is, no one really knows what life is. It’s a biological equation, a series of cellular interactions, a cerebral manufacturing. It’s an amazing gift of energy gathered together into one divine form, souls travelling throughout time. What it is doesn’t really matter. What matters is if we’re happy with what we believe, if we can reconcile it inside ourselves, and that our beliefs do not stand in the way of experiencing “life”.

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