A little bit of New Year, New Me B.S.

So here it is. The day we’ve waited all year for – New Year’s Eve. Over the years I’ve looked forward to this day for various reasons. When I was a kid I used to love staying up late, eating shrimp cocktail, and watching the ball drop on T.V. while the babysitter slept on the sofa. Later it was an excuse to stay up all night and steal alcohol right out from under the adults’ noses while waiting to watch the ball drop. Later still it was an anniversary of sorts. The beginning hook-up of what became a decade long relationship resulting in two children, one marriage and one divorce. Now I still look forward to New Year’s Eve, though I’m not sure I can pinpoint the reason why. It’s a day that reminds me of the year’s accomplishments (or lack thereof) and that for all my cool and distant ways I’m somehow largely alone. Though to be honest, I’m not sure how much that bothers me really. It’s somewhere between really needing a backrub and sharing a great night out with someone. But really, I’m pretty happy with the directions a lot of things in my life have gone this year. There’s a bit to smile about and in truth, some of it has been there for years. Perhaps my biggest accomplishment of 2014 is that I’ve learned to smile about the good stuff.

Alright, so here’s what it is. If there are things you need to change, demons you need to conquer, then by all means jump on that resolution bandwagon, no drive the bandwagon. Hell, lead the band. But maybe for some of us, the struggle is being still. Not changing a thing, but keeping on the same track and not fucking up what we already have. So here’s to being still in the new year.

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